


You'd Be Perfect If You Could Shut Up

by IcelandicGoat



Category: Hamilton - Miranda, Hamilton - Miranda (Broadway Cast) RPF
Genre: Alexander Hamilton Being an Asshole, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Office, Bisexual Alexander Hamilton, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Gay Thomas Jefferson, George Washington is a Dad, Jamilton - Freeform, M/M, Original Character(s), Slow Burn, Thomas Jefferson Being an Asshole, co parenting, mentioned hamliza, some cussing but not much, young phillip hamilton
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-24
Packaged: 2019-11-07 23:31:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17970137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IcelandicGoat/pseuds/IcelandicGoat
Summary: Alexander gets his week with Phillip early because Angelic got into a wreck, and Eliza leaves town to help her recover. With daycare not an option, Alex brings Phillip with him to work. When the only options for someone to look after Phillip during a meeting are an untrustworthy intern and Thomas Jefferson, Hamilton has to pick who'll look after his son, and the series of events that happens afterward can only be known as the best and worst decision that Alex has ever made.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know the Hamilton fandom is basically dead, but this past week I was having some Jamilton feelies, so I’m starting this as a hobby. I hope you enjoy :D

Alexander pulled his hair into a high ponytail as he nearly jumped down the stairs and into the subway, his work bag bouncing off his thigh as he rushed to the platform. Passerbyers grumbled as he bumped into them, he could see his train at past the scanners, he didn’t have too much longer until it left without him. Scanning his subway pass on the scanners and pushing through the rotating bars, managing not getting his bag caught, he squirmed his way through the crowd of people and made it onto the cart just before the doors close.

Grabbing ahold of one of the support poles, Alex pulled out his phone, answering John’s text about his newest thrift store adventures, he passed the ten minutes of his daily commute to his usual parking garage. Sure, he could drive to his office every day, but the traffic just dragged on even if he did leave early, plus he already had his subway card from before he got his car. Why let $32 a month go to waste? Texting John back and forth on his way to his apartment, Alex was caught off guard when his ex-wife, Eliza, called him.

Swiping his thumb across the green answer button and answering the call he put his phone to his ear.

“Hey, everything okay with Phillip?” Alex asked worriedly. Eliza and he were friends, even after their divorce, but she rarely called him outside of anything that had to do with their son.

“Yeah, he’s fine but I need to ask if you can take your week early this time. I know you make your schedule around your weeks but please I have to go out of town and I don’t know when I’ll be back.” Eliza rushed. She sounded panicked and frantic. Even if wasn’t about Philip it must be important.

“Yeah I can take him, but what happened?”

“Angelica got into serious a car wreck and I’m going to California to help her through recovery” Eliza answered, for a second the line went silent, “My flight leaves tonight so can you please come and get him. I’m so sorry for the short notice.”

“No, no it’s fine, I understand. I’ll be over in a minute, I haven’t passed the stop to your house no worries.” Alex said, shrugging off his jacket awkwardly while still on the phone.

“Thank you so much, I’ll see you in a minute, bye,” Eliza hung up as the train came to a stop at the platform that was conveniently placed right next to her apartment. Putting his phone in his pocket and shoving his suit jacket into work bag, Alex hurried off the train and onto the abnormally vacant platform. Only a few other people where there, which wasn’t unusual, this was one of the calmest parts of the city and that was saying a lot. Strolling to the stairs, Alex’s phone buzzed again. Checking it, he saw a text from Eliza saying she was in the lobby with Phillip’s bag already. Without answering, he walked up the stairs, his leather bag bouncing with every step. On the surface, there were only a few people walking, but the streets were crowded as ever. Turning to his left Alex walked into the small apartment complex, being met with Eliza and two-year-old Phillip on her hip, who as soon as he saw Alex through the from the revolving doors started jumping, trying to get to Alex, only causing his mother to become more stressed.

“I’ll be taking that,” Alex said, taking Phillip, holding him up in the air and letting him laugh before bringing him down to his hip that his leather bag wasn’t on. Phillip made quick work of pulling out Alexander’s ponytail, letting his hair cascade over the collar of his mint green work shirt. Phillips pudgy little hands wound themselves in Alex’s loose waves as he laughed.

Handing over the communal diaper bag, Eliza looked up to Alex, eyes puffy from crying, ”And you’re sure this isn’t too much, I can always ask Peggy if you can’t handle it.”

“No, it’s fine, I have no out of town conferences and the guys at the office love it when he comes. It won’t be a problem.” Taking the baby blue diaper bag from Eliza, she raised an eyebrow, “And I promise if anything major happens I’ll call Peggy.” Eliza smiled, then giving Phillip a kiss on the head and promising to see him soon, she watched as they clambered through the revolving doors, Phillip squealing and giggling as Alex bumped him on his hip, making his way back into the subway. Being careful not to fall with all his luggage, Alex made his way home to his two bedroom apartment.

Getting Philip ready in the morning has always been a struggle. It wasn’t that Pip was a bratty kid, he just has constant energy from the minute he wakes up to the minute poor Alexander is finally able to lull him asleep. Today was no exception, so in addition to making himself presentable, Alex had to chase Phillip around over half the morning to get him dressed and fed, not to forget making sure he had plenty of things to keep him occupied. Alex and Eliza both agreed early on that they wanted to avoid taking Phillip to daycare if they could help it. Surprisingly, they both though Alex’s office was favorable in comparison to the controlled environment that most daycares had. Getting him to that office, however, was a different story. With Pip, Alex always opted for driving to work, the busy subway had too many dangerous possibilities to go to every day with a kid that just doesn’t stop moving. The headache-inducing ride was worth it in Alex’s eyes to know that nothing would happen to Phillip.

At the office, Alex barely made it in the door without getting swamped by his co-workers. Before he had a chance to clock in, Phillip had already been lost to the small crowd of the highest branch in the company. Eventually, Alex was able to herd everyone into the break room, it wasn’t too hard considering besides Lafayette and Burr, the crowd was the office’s interns, who were all afraid of Alex due to his status. Even the stone cold James Madison came over to greet little Pip from the group of familiar yet mostly unacquainted workers.

“So Alexander,” George’s honey voice spoke from behind Alex, emerging with coffee,” Isn’t it a little early for your week with the boy,” He asked offering Alex the cup of coffee. God knows he needed it.

“Liz had a family emergency so I have him for the next week and a half,” Alex answered, taking the coffee with thanks, then shouldering his worn leather bag and the diaper bag, he swiftly went to the office, George following behind him. Then, going back and taking back Phillip from an intern that was holding him, who looked terrified when Alex approached him and brought Pip into his office where he already had a few toys to keep him busy. “We have that report at ten right?” Alex asked as he emptied his work bag, putting the diaper bag down as an afterthought after realizing he was still holding it.

“We do but I’m going to warn you only the one intern you hate with a passion will be free. I don’t know what that’s going to mean with Pip being here. I know I don't have to tell you this but we shouldn’t bring him to meetings.

“I know that more than anyone here, trust me. But I will NOT let Phillip around Leo again. Not after last time.” Alex said quickly, shifting through his papers until he found the one he wanted, his hair loose and falling in front of his hair as he began looking for something else.”There has to be someone else that won’t have anything to do.” He asked, looking up at his boss after he found his second stapled stack of papers.

“Well… there is Thomas. You’ll have to pick the lesser of evils on this one son,” And with that, before Alex could answer, he left, closing the door and leaving Alex and Phillip alone. Plopping down in his chair huffing as he spun himself to look at Pip play in his designated corner just like every other time.

“Just what am I going to do with you?” Alex asked, slumping in his chair, laughing as Phillip squealed an answer. Smiling fondly, Alex spun himself towards his desk, straightening himself as he focused on his work, hoping the distraction will make his predicament go away, at least for now.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you read this chapter I'd like to thank everyone who commented! Your support means a lot and it really inspired me to write this chapter! I hope you enjoy it and I didn't majorly disappoint you! <3

The elevator dinged as the doors opened to the 37th floor of the company building. The morning was already dragging along before Thomas even showed up to work. The office was noisy this morning, most of the interns had been crowding in the break room when Thomas strolled into work a little later than usual. It’s almost like they’d never learn to be respectable and functioning people, regardless of the commotion, he clocked in, letting the secretary know he was in for the day, and sauntered down the hallway of the private offices, fat James’ to drop off a file that he was in charge of. After exchanging a few words Thomas left, passing by a few doors until he was standing in front of his own, the gold plaque in the front engraved with “THOMAS JEFFERSON.” Unlocking it with his key he walked in, leaving his bag on his desk before pulling out his laptop. The corner of his lips cocking up as he held his newest one, only the best on the market. He dicked around for a while after he started it up, there weren’t too many pressing matters for him to take care of this early in the morning, but after roughly half an hour of annoying Jemmy via email (mostly complaining about Hamilton and the good for nothing interns), Thomas noticed a message from one of his old college friends from France. Thomas skimmed through the letter, the usual talk about family, work, and mutuals in France, but two sentences stuck out and jarred him out of answering.

“It’s been a while since we’ve talked, but I’m visiting New York for the weekend and I was hoping we could meet up and have dinner. I’m sure you know the finest places, and I’m hoping to see what lady you’ve stolen the heart of this time…”

It was true that when he was in France he was quite the player, always with someone new, but ever since he moved back to America, he had toned it down a little. Sure he had some flings here and there, and he has abandoned James a handful of times to take someone home a few times, but he felt as if he was too old for that now. Part of him wanted to show off that he had matured, but he didn’t know how he’d manage to do that on such short notice. Huffing, he closed his laptop without answering the email, he’d get around to it by the end of the day, with any luck he’d be able to show someone off, but that was pretty unlikely with such short notice. And he definitely couldn’t bring a girl.  
Now that he was back in America, whenever he did take a girl home, something just didn’t feel right. At first, he chopped it up to him getting older, coupled with the stress from his parents for him to settle down and find something serious, and he tried. He really did. Nothing ever seemed fully satisfying. Then one day, he had been out getting coffee at one of his favorite local places. It never got much business and he thought they put more care into their drinks than places like Starbucks, so he tried to stop there often to buy something and help out. He considered it his charitable deed of the day. He walked in, as usual, greeting the barista like he always did, and got his usual drink, and after he sat down to wait, checking his emails on his phone, a short man sat down in the chair across from him. Thomas looked up, and before he could say anything, the mystery man slid his number across the table, winking before mouthing “Call me” then walked out with his coffee. Out of curiosity, Thomas picked up the paper, seconds away from throwing it away, but instead shoved it in his jacket pocket when his name was called. That would definitely be a story to tell Jemmy.   
Later that day when he caught James on their lunch break, he went on an in-depth description of the man, he hadn’t even realized he was talking about the way the man’s leather jacket hugged his shoulders until James cut in.  
“I’m tired of hearing it, you should give him a call,” James said bluntly, flipping through the menu he held at the restaurant they decided to eat out at, pointing out the dish he wanted to the waitress. After letting the girl know what he wanted, Thomas looked at James’ expectant gaze.  
“But I’m not gay, Jemmy.”  
“I’m not saying you are, I’m just saying you never find anything you really like with girls, and maybe you should give this a try. One date won’t kill you, and if you don’t like it that much then at least you know.”  
So that was exactly what Thomas did. The next day after work he gave the mystery man a call and they set up a date. Thomas actually had a lot of fun, the most fun he had in a while, surprising himself, he asked the guy, whose name was Michael, on a second date. The second led to a third, which led to a fourth, and before he knew it, Thomas had lost count. However, the one thing that didn’t change was the butterflies in his stomach whenever he was even around Michael. Thomas could confidently say that for the first time in his life he was in love. Sorrowfully, Michael didn’t feel the same, leaving Thomas with his first real heartbreak, at least Jemmy was there to rub his back and push his hair back as he cried and cried. He eventually got over it. Then he took his life back into his own hands, taking his own risks by asking guys out that caught his eye. Some rejected him, but soon he got into a groove. He had a few lasting relationships with some great guys, but none of them stuck in the end. The only difference from the girls in his past was that he wanted to take them to dinner and show them off. He enjoyed making them blush and holding their hands, it surprised him with how long it took him to realize that he was gay.  
But this all circled around to his French friend, Jean, someone who wasn’t there when he had this life-changing realization. Clearly the only sensible to way to tell his friends this was to find someone by the time they stopped in town, but it wasn’t like he could pick someone off the street to go and meet his foreign friend.

 

Alexander knocked firmly on the dark stained oak door, Phillip fiddling with fistfuls of his hair while they waited. A loud and drawn out sigh could be heard from inside the office, followed by a shuffle of papers. A few more seconds dragged by before an exasperated “Come in” was heard from inside. Bumping Phillip higher on his hip, Alex bit his lip and opened the door to Jefferson’s office. The taller man looked up to his open doorway, his brows furrowing more and more as he looked from Alex to Phillip, and to the comically sized bag hanging from Alex’s shoulder. Leaning back in his chair, he ran a hand over his face.  
”Yes, Alexander?” Jefferson asked, sneaking a peek at the treasurer from the cracks of his fingers. He should have known that this was coming the minute James had come back into his office telling him that Hamilton had brought his son in for work. The last time Hamilton had left his son with one of the interns (a Lain, or something like that) he had ranted and raved for hours, and his kid was never left with someone who he didn’t know. That day Thomas had been lucky enough to slip out the door before Washington’s favorite started something with him.  
“Can you take Phillip for the next hour or so” Hamilton stated more than asked, his voice cold and cruel as his eyes glared at him over the thin framed glasses he was wearing.   
“And why would I spend my valuable time watching your slimy toddler?” Jefferson dragged out. Hamilton must be desperate if he was asking him. Jefferson was five seconds from kicking Hamilton out of his office, then sitting back and enjoying the sweet silence that was the exact opposite of the embodiment of Hamilton,” Afterall, someone has to make sure our partners are up to date with how we’re managing ourselves.”  
“I know you turned in your monthly report yesterday. It’s not like you do it consistently anyway, you update it weekly on Fridays, and it’s only Wednesday. So can you watch my son for an hour or not.” Hamilton answered cooly.  
“I suppose so…” Thomas sighed, then before Hamilton could say anything else in response,” But only if you go to dinner with me this Friday.”  
Hamilton caught himself before he could yell a retort, that sort of language wasn’t suitable for Phillip. Instead, Alex steadied himself, his temper running as his time until the meeting ran out,” And why, above all other things, would you possibly ask me that for, and why would I ever agree to that?”   
Thomas tilted his chin up as he looked at the man in front of him. His chocolate brown waves framed his face as he stood impatiently. Sharp and focussed eyes met his gaze before rolling them. His jaw flexed as he so obviously tried not to throw a fit in front of his own son. The smooth plains of caramel skin gave way to his slender muscles. Hamilton wasn’t buff like Thomas, and he was definitely thwarted in the height department, but the man looked nice. He could actually be mistaken as being docile if it weren’t for his elephant of a personality; he’d be just right for what Thomas needed him for if only he’d learn to shut his damn mouth.  
“You’re running out of time Jefferson,” And speak of the devil. Was there anything that could be done about that smart-ass mouth?  
“If you have to know, I’m meeting some old friends from France, and it’d be nice to have a trophy fiance to show off to them,” Thomas stated, standing up to casually flip through one of the unnecessarily decorated books on his bookshelf. “And I know I said just Friday night, but this will be a weekend-long event. If you truly want me to watch your kid then I just need you to look pretty and stay quiet for a few nights.” He finished, closing the book and waltzing over to the treasurer, grabbing him by the chin and forcing him to look up at him.  
“I’m failing to see what’s in it for me. I can always find another babysitter for today.”  
Thomas tsked, grabbing Alexander’s chin tighter, “I’ll look after Phillip until the end of the quarter, no questions asked if you pretend to be my nice, pretty, and obedient fiance for a weekend.  
“As long as I don’t have to share a bed with you I’ll deal, but I want you to sign off on my newest budget plan that I’ve been working on. No alterations, and no questions. I only need your permission and the others will follow.” Alex all but spat out, pulling his chin from Thomas’ grip and standing up straighter.  
Thomas had to ask himself if he was really this desperate to impress these people.  
The more he thought about it the more he realized how far he’d go to show himself off, even pretending to be engaged to Hamilton for a weekend.  
“Then it’s a deal,” Thomas stated, taking the diaper bag from Hamilton before looking at the shorter man expectantly, who kissed his son on his head of curly hair before handing him over, mutter something about good-for-nothing southerners before marching out of the room, clearly ready for some hell raising for whoever he was going to meet. Before Alex even left earshot, Thomas closed the door, looking down at the toddler he was precariously holding and thinking “now what.” He looked away, planning on just putting him down with the bag opened and hoping that he wouldn't make too much noise, but before he had a chance to deposit the child, Phillip grabbed his curly hair, yanking as hard as he could.  
“Hey ow! You little shit!” Thomas yelled, instinctively slapping the toddler’s hands away with his own. Phillip stayed quiet for a moment, staring up at him before bursting out crying. His little fists pounded against Thomas’ shoulder as he wailed, ”Wait no!” He rushed out, dropping the diaper bag on the floor with a soft thump. He started bouncing Phillip, trying to calm him, but that only made it worse. Had Hamilton taught him to hate Jefferson? It was a likely occurrence. For roughly ten minutes he tried to calm Phillip, even singing to him like his own mother did when he was younger, but no matter how much he tried, the toddler only cried harder in his hands. With nothing working, he left his office, rushing down the hallway to James’. Without knocking he bust in the office to see James’ on the phone at his desk.  
“Yeah, I’ll have to call you back sir…Yes, of course, thank you,” And hung up, shaking his head before looking at Thomas,” What have you done now?”  
“I may have accidentally slapped his hands?” Thomas questioned.  
“God you’re a disaster,” Muttered James before standing up and crossing the room before taking Phillip from his arms. Cuddling him and humming in his ear; after a few minutes it worked, and after the boy had fallen asleep, James handed him back to Thomas. “If I were you I wouldn’t mention that you slapped his child within the first five minutes of having him.”  
Thomas nodded, sitting down in one of James’ spare chairs. Before too long Thomas spilled what he had done, telling him how he made the deal with Alex and how he couldn’t have possibly picked a worse person for this. Thomas could only hope that the two could make enough peace for a single dinner without getting into a cataclysmic fight.


End file.
